Jedi Training Camp Uncovered in Houston

In a shocking turn of events, watchful Cypress residents have uncovered a real Jedi Training Camp operating inside the community’s Langham Creek YMCA.

“There was a Jedi Master,” said Jason Greenberg, who frequents the gym off Queenston Road and Longenbaugh Drive. “There were, I don’t know how many, little Padawans all around him, clearly in touch with The Force. He was training them, you know, like how Yoda used to.”

A Harris County Police Officer, who asked to remain anonymous, said, “We work very hard to ensure the safety of our community. While the presence of an active Jedi training camp does seem to imply the anticipation of Dark Force mischief in the Cypress area, it is reassuring to know that if and when anything happens, we’ll have backup.”

Langham Creek YMCA representatives said they do not have an official statement at this time. However, an investigation by The Pink Armadillo uncovered that the Jedi Master in question goes by the name of Paul Bady. Besides oneness with the Force, Master Bady specializes in Disaster Planning, Drowning Prevention Initiatives, Emergency Action Plan Development, Youth Engagement, and Special Event Coordination.

A small flier recovered from one Y Member’s gym bag read as follows:

The Langham Creek YMCA Jedi Academy is seeking Padawans ages 8-12 to begin their training in the ways of The Force. Sessions begin March 30th from 6:30 pm – 7:30 pm. This 8 week program runs every Thursday. Sign up today at the front desk! Cost is only $25 for Y Members!

While current classes are full, sources say that Master Bady is considering offering additional sessions. Parents who believe their child features high levels of midi-chlorians can email Master Bady here.

In the past, other YMCA locations have been known to serve as a hub for Jedi activity. The Fox Cities YMCA of Wisconsin, where Master Bady was previously stationed, also appears to host an elite Jedi Training Academy.

Visit The Langham Creek YMCA | Greater Houston YMCA

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